Category: Stress

Thursday Thrills

On By HanneIn Health, Stress, Thursday Thrills2 Comments

Today’s thrill was hardly new, but it’s the only ‘thrill’ I’ve had for several days. In an attempt to beat whatever this is, I’ve reached out to just about any possible method – from the regular doctor, herbal remedies (side note, Oregano oil has helped the most), drinking more water than would be recommended and today – acupuncture.

I have a very love-hate relationship with the process. Most people know my fear of needles and would assume I’d never step foot willingly into an acupuncture clinic, but for someone that has a specific process (that must be followed) for a simple blood draw, I’m surprisingly good at getting needled. My palms get a little sweaty and my legs a little tense, but once the needles are situated, I’m good for a nice nap.

It’s hard to describe the feeling of the needles being inserted. Some you don’t feel at all – maybe a slight shift in cells. Others are more of a quick electric shock (I know, I touched the electric fence). Some are a little sharp as they go in, the sensation fading in a quick instant, and others burn until the needles is ‘backed off’ with a slight twist. On the rare occasion, I can’t relax with it in and the acupuncturist will remove it and try again or just leave it out.

I know a lot of people are skeptical about how effective acupuncture can be. I’m pretty convinced.

While I sound horrible (kinda like Badger from Breaking Bad), but my cough has steadily improved. I went all day without cough syrup today and with the exception of an occasional cough, I was doing pretty well. Once the needles were in, Amanda, my acupuncturist, left me for my nap. In the world of community acupuncture, you can take as long as you need. Sometimes I’m there for 45 minutes and other times my nap lasts two hours.  I was just settling in when it was like I suddenly had a feather tickling the back of my throat – uncontrollable coughing. She came back with a cough drop, said it was common for that to happen once things started moving. When the cough drop didn’t work, she brought me a glass of water. When that didn’t work, she pulled out one of the needles and the coughing stopped immediately. Amazing.

She also gave me a little cough medicine ‘to go’ in the from of two acupressure beads – teeny, tiny little fingerbeads taped to my pinky fingers. When I start to cough,  I massage the little beads and then the urge goes away.

I anticipate some good sleep tonight – I didn’t get the chance to nap during my appointment. The other half of this coughing business is the back/rib pain. I went to the chiropractor yesterdayand that helped, but today I woke with a massive knot right in the middle of my back. I stretched and twisted and…. I managed to find a massage clinic that could fit me inright after my acupuncture appointment. I still have a giant knot, though a little less painful, and I’ll see my regular massage person next week. So to end today’s thrill, I’ll curl up with a heat pack and maybe some tea, and hopefully cough/hurt a little less and sleep a little more.

“And falling’s just another way to fly.” ― Emilie Autumn

On By HanneIn Health, Stress, TravelLeave a comment

I fell down the last three steps into the basement yesterday.
(see above ^^)

I’ve been sick the past few days, but finally managed to collect myself enough to help out around the house – pfft, that’s what I get for trying to help. I was carrying some dead flowers down to take them to the yard waste. Not sure what happened, but all I remember is the longest fall ever (srsly, in slow-motion). Slammed my left knee into the cement floor and banging into the cabinet at the base of the stairs. I’m not too bad today considering all the various possible outcomes. A little stiff, and my left knee is sore to the touch, but otherwise it’s mostly my ego. And the fact that I probably inhaled a royal shit ton of glitter (also from the flowers) and dead/dried leaves that crumbled at the touch. I mean, really? Ready to go to bed – wake me when Feb. is over.

Struggling with the fact that I have zero vacation planned for 2014. With the trip to Denmark being pushed to *next* year, and Cait unable to drive to OKC for MH14 – I don’t even know how I’ll last the year. I could drive on my own, but at 20 years old, I think my Camry has seen it’s last Epic Roadtrip(tm). Also, a 3+ week road trip isn’t really in the bank account when I’m looking to replace my Camry baby at the end of the year.

With rumblings of MH14 on twitter, I’ve toyed with the idea of flying in for a long weekend. I would hate not having the use of my car – having to either rent or rely on friends for a ride. Cait and I got separated from the group last year during the Tornado fiasco… they knew we had a ride, so it wasn’t as big of a deal, but to go through that again and wonder how to get back to a hotel 40 minutes away during a natural disaster is enough to make my stomach churn.  Thinking of MH14, I would of course love to go and, as always, chat with my favorite celebrity, and spend time with the many friends I’ve made over the past 3 years. But I also feel drawn back to Oklahoma. Sort of a ‘back up on the horse’ after falling off – or in my case, sitting through a tornado. #needagoodadventue

a time to be thankful…

On By HanneIn Health, Stress, UpdateLeave a comment

The past few months since I posted, I’ve really struggled with my health. While I didn’t do too bad on the antibiotics, it completely destroyed my immune system and I’ve been struggling with respiratory crap since July. I ended up back on antibiotics for 7 days earlier this month, and while I’m not coughing much anymore, I’m *still* congested. Ugh. Being sick pretty much for 5 months straight has left me feeling blah, uninspired and just… down.

imagesBut I also realized that while life has been a bitch for the second half of 2013, there are people out there that have it much, much worse. Sure I’ve been on some hard core meds over the course of those five months – but at least I can afford it (even if it pains me to pay for it). So over the past few weeks and over the course of the next few weeks until Christmas, I’m trying to focus on helping those that are having a hard time. And I’m having a good time doing it.

A week or so ago, I took my little buddy Evan for an ‘adventure’ (we go on ‘adventures’ rather than errands, because really… what sounds more fun?) to the grocery store to do a big shop for the Northwest Harvest food drive the radio was doing. We went up and down almost every aisle* looking for stuff on sale to maximize what I was spending and also for stuff a little different than the basic canned tuna, peanut butter, and pasta. I wish I had the link for a blog article I stumbled upon awhile back. Basically, a woman overheard a comment directed toward someone who was donating a couple jars of Greek olives, and something else considered ‘fancy’ and how the people at the food bank wouldn’t know what to do with those items. The woman writing the blog had been on assistance at one timeand while she wasn’t a chef, she could pull together some good meals out of various ingredients and *loved* to find different things at the food bank. Now she’s got a good job, writes a column, etc and likes to donate items that aren’t traditional to give a little variety.  So I tried to get a mix of basic items (because buying rice, pasta, etc. For me it was a trip to the grocery store. For Evan it was a chance to point out the things he knew, a chance to practice colors, and best of all (in his eyes) he got to put everything in the cart for me (he loves to be a helper).

Another way I’ve tried to boost the holiday cheer, is by getting a head start on my Christmas cards. Costco had a great deal on personalized cards, so I got a bunch and have been getting those started (big batch to go out this weekend). For those of you also doing Christmas cards, consider sending a card to a service member through Holiday mail for Heroes. The deadline is Dec. 6th, so if you’re lazing around this weekend with a belly full of Turkey, consider writing a few Christmas cards.

As most probably saw on FB, I didn’t get the grant that I applied for back in May. It’s not a surprise, but at the same time, it’s a big let down. I had big plans for that, and while not getting it this time around certainly won’t stop me, it’s put a big kink in my plans and it still hurts. I’m just going to take a little time over the holidays to not think about it (I’ve got enough going on already) and then time to dust off and keep moving forward.

Will try to keep this updated a bit more than once every 4 months.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

*My goal in life is to spell the word ‘aisle’ correct without having to let spell check fix it for me. Ugh.

n’awlins…

On By HanneIn Stress, TravelLeave a comment

Wow, what an experience.

We rolled into New Orleans around 11pm after a slow start in OKC. The drive was long, but the weather was perfect after all the Tornado drama. We pulled into the parking garage beside our hotel (located in an awesome part of the French Quarter on St. Ann. Opening the door was a bit of a slap in the face as far as heat/humidity are concerned. Check in was smooth and we were taken through a maze of a courtyard to our room.courtyard

Oh my Lord. Love.

The Place was beautiful. With a small pool, fountain with goldfish and big, green plants everywhere! I could’ve spent a whole week relaxing in the courtyard (in the cooler hours) and never left the hotel. We crashed pretty quick in the comfort of the chilled room. I think our hotel offered breakfast, but we ended up at Stanley for breakfast. Not a huge place, but super simple/delicious items on the menu. Much of Monday was spent in/out of shops, grabbing a bite to eat and shopping again. By 3pm we headed back to wait out the hottest part of the day and then hit the streets again around 7. We grabbed dinner and then headed to a bar called ‘Port of Call’ for a Monsoon. From there we found Bourbon St. and wandered a bit until we found a fun bar and parked there. Knowing we had to be out the door early, we started early and were back before mid-night.

IMG_6961Tuesday we hit the road by 8:30 and drove 30’ish miles to Jean Lafitte for an airboat adventure. Again, it was ridiculously hot/humid even by 9:30. We went out on a boat with about 12 people, plus our guide James. He was pretty funny and took us around, pointing stuff/alligators out. He got out and hand fed one named Vicky that he’s been working with ‘for years’. We moved on and were cruising along when suddenly we’re slowing and he’s asking me to get up (Cait and I were on either side of him). I jumped up and turn to see that there is smoke coming from the engine in the back.

The boat overheated.

So we sat. And waited.

It took about 30 minutes for the ‘rescue’ boat to come. James switched with us and the other guy towed the original boat back. We lost out on a good chunk of time, IMG_6969but James took us to this closed off area. He killed the motor and suddenly all these gators are swimming toward the boat (these gators know the sounds of the boats and come quick for treats). He’s feeding them and talking about size and suddenly goes…. “okay, who wants to touch one? I’m not suppose to let you, but I gotta make it up to you.” Cait and I nearly fell from the boat, we were so excited. Basically he brought them in close and then as they turned to swim along side the air-boat, we could reach down and pet behind their eyes. So cool. I touched a wild alligator. Life changing. Such a powerful creature.

Afterward we headed back to the hotel, grabbed lunch and hit up a few museums before retreating to the cool of our room for a few hours. The museum exhibit about hurricane Kartrina was so sad. And the huge screen playing clips from the storm with the added fans to have wind was a bit… off putting after the storm we’d been through. Pretty sad at how much damage was done, but also how everything was handled.

Dinner was at the gumbo shop and then we wandered a bit before heading home to get stuff ready for this morning. We were able to sleep in a bit (8:30), have a easy breakfast and then headed up toward Memphis by 10am. We made a new friend with the woman that helped bring our bags to the car. She talked a bit about her experience in Katrina and because of it, her family photos, deed to her house, etc are kept in her car. As much as I loved the city, I couldn’t live in fear like that.

We had a short drive today – only 6hours. The drive was fine until we were about 2 hours from Memphis. We hit a massive lightning storm with rain so hard that we couldn’t see more than 30 feet in front of us. We crawled along I-55 at 35-40mph for a bit before it let up. I pretty much just white-knuckled through and Cait sat perfectly still staring out ahead. Needless to say, we skipped ‘Eye of the Tiger’ on the playlist.

We hit Memphis around 5:15. It’s the same hotel that I’ve stayed at the previous two times I’ve been here. I absolutely love it. It’s right downtown, easy access to Beale, and major highways and I *know* the area. We grabbed dinner and drinks at the Kooky Kanuck and then wandered Beale for a bit before coming back to our hotel so Cait could pack her purchases (I’ve got to drop her at the airport at 5:30am). We were relaxing when suddenly we hear something outside. We weren’t sure what it was, so I jokingly commented that, with our luck, it was a tornado siren. Joke is on me, because the dark clouds rolled in with thunder/lightning and surprise (!!) it was a tornado siren. It only lasted maybe 20 minutes and the hotel staff said they weren’t concerned – we’d get a call to our room if we needed to hit the basement (plus side, we have a basement). Weather is supposed to be fine for tomorrow, but I can assure you that I’m pretty tired of this weather crap. Like, legit… I’m done.

memphis

Not sure what tomorrow holds, but I know it includes getting some more sleep once Cait is safely delivered to the airport. I’m exhaused.

Speechless.

On By HanneIn Stress, TravelLeave a comment

I will do a longer blog about the MH event, but it’s late and I’m exhausted from driving Oklahoma City to New Orleans today.

IMG_6844But before we left Oklahoma, we took some time to drive through Moore, OK. All I can say, is that I’m speechless. Cait and I drove around for maybe 15-20 minutes and the only thing we kept saying was “holy fuck” over and over again, because really…. what else can you say? There is zero way to comprehend how massive this thing was until you are driving down a street where people are standing in front of what was their house, wondering where to begin.

IMG_6848

And then, just around a corner will be a house missing a few shingles, maybe a broken window and a neat pile of branches in their yard to be picked up.

I mean, we’re still… unsure of how to explain our own situation when, in retrospect, was nothing near this level of scary.

But I tell you what, the warnings that hurricane season has officially begun, was not what we wanted to see as we drove toward the gulf coast.

“If you want to forget all your other troubles, wear tight shoes.”

On By HanneIn StressLeave a comment

It’s no secret the last few weeks have been rough. Between stressful doctor visits to figure out why I’ve been feeling so run-down (nope, no answers yet), three needle pokes (which is funny, because I’m going to acupuncture voluntarily tomorrow), and a school program that’s left me less than motivated… I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that the headache I’ve been sporting the past 2 weeks is purely stress related.

BUT — Thursday I went to a seminar at DIIS about migrant worker and deportation and it was a pretty eye opening experience. Not for the facts that they gave us, but rather they way they gave them. The first three presenters talked about their ‘research’ and how they worked with this policy and that policy and I almost fell asleep. The fourth person, however, had actually gone to North Africa and found some people smugglers and got to know their story and how they joined the business. He knew their names and had photographs. Basically, it was real people he worked with, not just a policy that theoretically should work with/for people.

I think a light-bulb of sorts went off over my head. I don’t think this program is right for me.

I want hands-on, I want creativity (ok, that doesn’t really have much to do with global studies) and most importantly – I want to write. Back in school, we were always told to read what we had written out loud. You catch more mistakes that way, and it helps you learn. In talking to my mom and essentially ‘reading it out loud’ I was sort of slapped across the face with the whole ‘holy shizz-nits, I don’t want to be here, I want to write’ idea. I think I’ve been toying with the idea for awhile, but until I really got it out there, it’s just been hanging in the back of my mind. So I was a mess and I was up until 2am because I could sleep (and it made me sleep past the 4am Sounders game – but that’s okay because they lost), but when I woke up, I was oddly at peace with the idea that maybe RUC just isn’t the place for me this time around.

If I stay for two years, I’ll have a masters degree in Global Studies, and that’s about it. My sanity will probably be ripped to shreds, I’ll likely be no closer to an actual career, but then again, I’ll have the shiny, new degree smell. Kinda like a new car, but without the wheels to make it drive anywhere.

But my new plan consists of going home and taking some courses in journalism, creative writing and photography and working on finding an internship somewhere. Something to get my foot in the door all while I work on my own creative writing. I want people to say, “oh, have you seen Hanne’s new article, book, NCIS script?” (only kinda kidding on the TV script). I wanted that before, but now I want it bad.

I think my biggest issue is… well, I have two. The first is dealing with the idea that I’ve wasted 6months. I know that I haven’t – you don’t learn if you don’t try, but at the same time… 6 months is 6 months. And the second is that I know when I leave Denmark this time, it’s highly unlikely that I’ll be back to live here. I will visit (lots and often, I hope), but I don’t really see myself coming back to live here. I used to think I would at one point, but I don’t know. Just a feeling, I guess. The last two years I was home, I had that option to go to Denmark. I had things stored at my cousins house, so moving wasn’t that hard. But this time…

So it sucks. And it’s hard. But I think I’ve made my decision. And it’s time to take off the damn-tight shoes.