“Subdue your appetites, my dears, and you’ve conquered human nature.” – Charles Dickens

I’ve debated back and forth on posting about this or not. I’ve always been quiet about my weight issues (because hey, I’m funny, pay attention to that, not what I look like), but maybe putting things down in writing, where a.) others can see that I’ve not just got my head stuck in the sand, and b.) I can feel a bit of accountability during my struggles… I’ve decided to post here. I’ve struggled most of my life, and while I’ve certainly had more to eat than I should, I’m not someone who has just sat around and let this happen. I played sports growing up and even my pediatrician wasn’t sure why I wasn’t losing weight. I do harbor some… irritation that between him and my mom, no one thought to dig deeper into why my body didn’t reflect my sports activities. And now that I finally have health insurance, I’m taking over my care. I’ve picked my own doctor, asked my own questions and I’m doing it my way. If this first approach works, then… while I’ll be happy, I’m also sad/mad/irritated. I didn’t have to be the fat kid in high school and I feel like certain things in life would be a lot different if I didn’t have this excess weight to carry around.

This first round of blood results show that I have an astronomical high amount of leptin in my body (and estrogen, though that could be a result of the weight). A hormone that regulate metabolism, appetite, etc. I’m not sure how it first starts (could just be a basic mutation that my body doesn’t recognize the leptin so it just keeps making it). So my body doesn’t know how to burn fat. It knows (has learned, or just how my body chemistry works) how to burn sugar. Which is why I’m assuming my blood sugar is normal (and let me point out that my cholesterol is perfect, too). So basically I’m going on a two week ‘cleanse’. I’m cutting out everything except for certain proteins and fibrous vegetables. And breakfast is a shake with protein, vitamins and minerals.

It won’t be fun, or easy or… whatever. I can’t have coffee or dairy, either. So while my wallet applauds the fact that I am temporarily breaking up with Starbucks, I can feel the caffeine headache starting already.

I’m starting to look for new, basic veggie recipes – and I suspect that celery with almond butter will become a staple. Salmon and chicken I can also do (and can enjoy without ‘sauces’. I prefer my chicken with a little lemon juice and maybe chilli powder or something. But my shopping list of food allowed is pretty tiny. Apologies in advance if I seem on edge or snappy.

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