I thought I would come here and blog daily about my ten day… whatever it is… cleanse? detox? But that proved difficult. Not because I didn’t have time, but because every single thought I had during the day was consumed with food. What can I have, what can’t I have. Have I had a lot of calories, or am I semi-starving myself? Am I hungry? Can I even do this for ten days?
I have the rest of today and tomorrow. I can do this.
It’s been such and an up and down emotional roller-coaster of fighting myself for control. I felt that I lacked support from my doctors and that was hard (I called with a question – and important one – on Wednesday morning and didn’t hear back until Friday afternoon). I feel like if I am going on something so strict for a specific ten days, I should have access to support from my doctor (since the whole thing is her idea) – esp. when my fucking kidneys ache. Luckily I recognize the pain of a kidney stone, so I don’t believe it was one (or if it was, suuuuper small), but still… if a patient complains of achy kidneys, call the fuck back!
It’s been an intense struggle of you can do this for ten days, it’s not that long vs who the fuck is she to meet with me twice and then tell me what to do. In case you were wondering, I don’t like being told what to do. I mean work-tasks are just that, work, but this… this is different.
This weekend was the most difficult – my dad cooking danish meatballs, having to skip the soccer party because of the food and alcohol, needing the fuel/energy to play my own soccer game, etc. I won’t do this again for ten days. Maybe three days to get back on track, but ten days is just miserable. It’s opened my eyes to just how much and how often (and where) people eat. But I would say 90% of my thoughts the last ten days have been about food. It’s also opened my eyes to what all goes into food, and I certainly appreciate things that are fresh and without preservatives – which can be hard to find anymore. As for sweets, I crave more decadent things – I have the urge to bake a nice chocolate cake rather than a cheap candy bar.
We’ve tried some new things – some that have really turned out to be tasty and some that… I still just can’t do the textures (*ahem* mushrooms). But baked/mashed squash was particularly tasty. We also tried mashed cauliflower which… if doctored with things I can’t have, could be… okay, but not high on my repeat list. And last night, roast brussels sprouts with a balsamic vinegar syrup which was actually pretty good.
I’m also getting used to the breakfast shake and will probably just add a little more fruit to taste once we’re back from thanksgiving. I’m not a big breakfast person to begin with and doing the shake takes the guesswork out of what to grab in the morning. It’s quick and full of good things for me. It’s a little bland as-is, but with a whole banana instead of half, and maybe some berries of some kind, it might actually be enjoyable.
And I have to say, I don’t really miss traditional carbs – bread, pasta, potatoes. We did to sweet potato and yams the past week, but without a little butter to help spread the cinnamon, it was a little…. dusty going down.
So. A good lesson? Yes. Would I recommend it to someone else needing a kickstart when other things aren’t working? Yeah, probably – though I’d suggest cutting back on the coffee/sugar a few days before rather than go cold turkey. And do yourself a favor and relax on the sports/workout those ten days.
So dear body, please have learned how to burn fat. I would appreciate it muchly.
And for fuckssake, someone get me a mocha!